Microsoft Pooh-Poohs Yahoo

In the war of words, Microsoft wins for tact and style. Nobody twists meanings like Microsoft. I swear that PR professionals working for Microsoft must earn degrees in semantics.

Yahoo is getting better at waging a war of words, but it's by no means great shakes and its skills pale in comparison to Microsoft's wordsmithery. Yahoo's weekend letter beat Microsoft and billionaire business buster Carl Icahn to updating the whole planet on the ongoing merger melodrama. Like everybody isn't tired of looking at and smelling all this dirty laundry already. We don't care. We just want this bad B movie to end. Please, someone yell fire, so the theater will open the exits.

Back on topic: Great tact, Microsoft. Nobody reads more than two paragraphs anymore. With blogs and tweets, it's short-attention-span culture. Microsoft's press release title and subtitle use up 237 characters, including spaces, or about one-and-a-half tweets:

"Microsoft Sets the Record Straight. On July 12, Yahoo! Inc. released a statement relating to recent discussions involving Yahoo!, Microsoft, and Carl Icahn. Microsoft believes the statement contains inaccuracies that need to be corrected."

Many people will never read further than that. Yahoo's yawner title and subtitle: "Yahoo! Rejects Microsoft/Icahn Search and Restructuring Proposal. Yahoo! Suggests Microsoft Make A Proposal To Acquire Whole Company."

So some people walk away convinced that Yahoo lies or that it rejects business offers. Good going, Microsoft. But, Yahoo, do monkeys write your press releases?

Yahoo's Saturday letter strongly suggests that on Friday Microsoft and Icahn made a new and unwelcome offer that would carve up the search and media giant. Microsoft would get the choice cuts and the billionaire business buster would get the rest. Microsoft tells a different story:

"The enhanced proposal for an alternate search transaction that we submitted late Friday was submitted at the request of Yahoo Chairman Roy Bostock as a result of apparent attempts by Mr. Icahn to have Microsoft and Yahoo engage on a search transaction on terms Mr. Icahn believed Microsoft would be willing to accept and which Microsoft understands Mr. Icahn had discussed with Yahoo.

"On Thursday afternoon, July 10, Mr. Bostock called Steve Ballmer's office to arrange a call. On that subsequent call, Mr. Bostock told Mr. Ballmer that 'with substantial guarantees on the table and an increase in the TAC (traffic acquisition cost) rate, there are the pillars of a search only deal to be done.' Mr. Bostock encouraged Mr. Ballmer to submit a new proposal to Yahoo for a search-only deal reflecting these terms."

That story bears little resemblance to Yahoo's. So, who's telling the truth? Did Microsoft make a good faith offer only to be rebuffed and humiliated by Yahoo? Or is Yahoo really the little 'ol dot-com victim of corporate bullying?

Who cares? It doesn't matter. Probably nobody is being wholly truthful. But the intrigue is riveting. It's like a train wreck in progress. You know you shouldn't watch, but you can't stop. Yes, the merger is a train wreck.

Related Posts:

• Microsoft to Yahoo: Set the Record Straight, Microsoft Watch, July 14, 2008
• If Icahn Not Have You, Boo Hoo!, Microsoft Watch, July 14, 2008
• Yahoo, What Icahn Do to You, Microsoft Watch, July 7, 2008
• Yahoo's Response to Carl Icahn, Microsoft Watch, July 7, 2008
• Microsoft's Letter Supporting Carl Icahn, Microsoft Watch, July 7, 2008
• Carl Icahn's Letter, Microsoft Watch, July 7, 2008
• Microhoo: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do, Microsoft Watch, July 2, 2008
• With or Without Yahoo, Microsoft Watch, June 25, 2008
• Don't Yell 'Yahoo' So Fast, Microsoft Watch, June 25, 2008
• Microsoft Adds Insult to Injury, Microsoft Watch, June 16, 2008
• Google-Yahoo Smacks Microsoft, Microsoft Watch, June 12, 2008
• Icahn Talk, Why Can't Microhoo?, Microsoft Watch, June 12, 2008
• Google Search Share Surges, Live Languishes, Microsoft Watch, May 22, 2008
• Live Search Cashes In on Cashback, Microsoft Watch, May 21, 2008
• Microsoft's Yahoo Plans Advance>>08, Microsoft Watch, May 19, 2008
• Microsoft and the Yahoo Lobotomy, Microsoft Watch, May 19, 2008
• Steve Ballmer and the Microsoftdom of Yahoo, Microsoft Watch, May 18, 2008
• Icahn Yahoo Better than You, Microsoft Watch, May 15, 2008
• Yahoo: Between a Rock and a Hard Place, Microsoft Watch, May 8, 2008
• Why Didn't Microsoft Yell 'Yahoo'?, Microsoft Watch, May 5, 2008
• Will He Stay or Will He Go?, Microsoft Watch, May 5, 2008
• The Microsoft-Yahoo Blame Game, Microsoft Watch, May 3, 2008
• What Steve Said to Jerry, Microsoft Watch, May 3, 2008
• Microsoft Boo-Hoos Yahoo, Microsoft Watch, May 3, 2008
• Open Letter to Steve Ballmer, Microsoft Watch, May 1, 2008